Barb O'Neill's Family and Friends 47th Annual Thanksgiving Meal

Above: Rodney O’Neill greets friends as he carries on his mother’s legacy with Barb O'Neill's Family and Friends Thanksgiving event. Barb O’Neill started the meal for family and close friends out of her home in 1969. Eventually, it became a community event.

By Janine Gates

https://janineslittlehollywood.blogspot.com

Rodney O’Neill, 50, suffered a stroke on January 31, but says nothing could keep him and a whole lot of friends from pulling off the 47^th annual Barb O’Neill’s Family and Friends Thanksgiving community meal. The event was held at First United Methodist Church on Wednesday.

“Without the community support and help of everybody, we would be sunk,” he said, crediting support from local nonprofits, the Washington Federation of State Employees Local 443 union, NW Realty and the Van Dorm family, and many more.

About his stroke that affected his right side, O’Neill said, “It happened so quickly -there were no warning signs.” O’Neill has worked hard to recover, and has progressed from using a wheelchair to walking with some difficulty. 

“It slowed me down but it definitely didn’t stop me. I have a purpose. I have been given the right tools to do what I do with knowledge, faith, and a genuine passion to want to help people….” he said, as well wishers and friends constantly caught his attention.

O’Neill estimated that about 150 volunteers turned out to assist with the meal, including a lot of high school students from Olympia High School and Timberline High School, who also provided musical entertainment.

Logistically, volunteers started planning on Tuesday at 8:00 a.m.

“Being prepared and working all day yesterday gave us an advantage,” he said. O’Neill was prepared to serve about 1,500 meals, but by 4:30 p.m., only about 550 meals were served. Each meal was deeply appreciated.

An evening dinner rush before 5:00 p.m. is typical, and volunteers were ready. Robert Johns, who has assisted with the Thanksgiving dinner for four years, wore a festive turkey hat as he stood behind the serving line, ready to replace empty serving food containers with hot, full ones. 

The total number of those served was down, perhaps due to the fact that the event was changed this year from United Churches in downtown Olympia to First United Methodist Church on Legion Way, in Olympia’s eastside neighborhood. 

The new location provides more room for folks to eat, sit, enjoy musical entertainment on a stage, and make new friends, or see old friends. O’Neill is confident people will find and get used to coming to the new location.

“It’s just amazing….Look, there’s no stress on their faces. They are happy to be here,” O'Neill said of the crowd. 

Not only were folks able to eat a traditional Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings, a resource room was set up to provide information about local social services, and a clothing room provided clothes, blankets, coats, and paper bags filled with soups and soap. The YMCA provided free shower passes to those in need. 

Providing enough clothes and warm coats for men is a perpetual need and donations are accepted year round.

Describing how he had worked on the meals by his mother’s side since he was little, O'Neill said that taking over the event was not as easy as he first thought.

“In the last three years of her life, it was like I was in ‘Training Day.’ It was always so intense with everything she was trying to tell me, and I was like, ‘OK, Mom, I got it, I got it,’ but the whole time, I didn’t have it.”

But by the looks of how shifts of volunteers were kept busy and smoothly rotated between stations, and plentiful, hot food, drinks and desserts were served with smiles, with friendly conversation heard throughout the church’s Great Hall, it would seem Rodney O’Neill has got it.

O’Neill’s Family and Friends will have a Christmas meal on Saturday, December 17, from 12 – 6:00 p.m. at First United Methodist Church, and provide toys and gift baskets.

For more photos and stories about Barb O’Neill’s Family and Friends, go to https://janineslittlehollywood.blogspot.com and type key words into the search engine.

To donate food, gifts, gently used clothing, or supplies such as sleeping bags or coats, or to find out how you can get involved in this event or other community events sponsored by Barb O'Neill's Family and Friends, contact Rodney O'Neill at (360) 485-9931 or barbssoul@yahoo.com.

Great Food, Great Company at Barb O’Neill’s Thanksgiving Dinner

By Janine Unsoeld

www.janineslittlehollywood.blogspot.com

For 45 years, the Barb O’Neill’s Family and Friends Thanksgiving Dinner has served the community, and did so again today from noon to 5 p.m. at The United Churches in downtown Olympia. Just before 5:00 p.m., it was estimated that 1,500 meals had been served.

Volunteers with community resource organizations such as GRuB, Safeplace, the Thurston/Mason chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and Quixote Village handed out potentially life-saving literature and information.

Kitchen volunteers monitored the food line often and quickly exchanged empty bowls, pans and platters with full ones. Everyone had their plates full of hot turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, deviled eggs, and stuffing. Some came back more than once.

One volunteer who served food was Gracie Anderson, 15, a student at Olympia High School. She’s been serving meals at the Thanksgiving gathering for five years, and sees a future for herself in social work. She is involved in several clubs at school, including the National Honor Society and debate. She says she loves to talk about local issues.

With her mom and little sister serving desserts nearby, Anderson served garlic bread and extra butter and I served celery sticks and pickles. Although I cheerfully offered both options equally, the pickles were popular and we ran out them by mid-afternoon.

The articulate teenager exuded enthusiasm and told me a few stories. I asked why she keeps coming back to help serve.

“It’s a humbling experience to be able to help people who can’t always help themselves,” she said.

She says she breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the same people back year after year because at least she knows they are O.K. She wonders if the children she sees are homeless.

Anderson says the nice thing about the Thanksgiving Dinner is that anyone can come, so there’s no stigma to coming and being served a good meal. She says that although she feels comfortable around people in need, it also helps for her to visualize that within everyone, there’s a child.

“Sometimes it helps to see the child instead of the adult….and everyone has a story….One year, about two years ago, I got into a heart-to-heart conversation with a woman who said she had cancer and couldn’t afford treatment. I could tell she was weak. I’ve never seen her again…She was amazing,” said Anderson, her voice trailing off in thought.

Anderson said she read a book last year, “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction,” by Dr. Gabor Mate, and recommended it to anyone who wants to learn more about people and their addictions. She said her mom read it too.

“It was life changing, and gave me a new perspective on what I do here,” she said.

Asked if she’s seen a shift in demographics of those who come to be served, she said she thinks she sees more older children and not as many little kids. “But maybe it’s because I’m more involved and mature and see things with a new perspective.”

Gracie Anderson has also served food for the Barb O’Neill’s Family and Friends gathering at Christmas time and Easter.

“I love Christmas – I helped kids pick out free presents for their parents, and I made about 450 friendship bracelets and gave them all out,” she said. Anderson’s little sister came over and pulled a few of the friendship bracelets out of her pocket. Anderson tied one on my wrist.

“It’s fun when people come back and I see them still wearing their bracelet,” she said.

We were relieved of our posts about 4:00 p.m., and a fresh group of volunteers took over our duties, while a steady stream of visitors still came in to receive food.

Everyone was being served. Some visitors had been there for hours to enjoy the food, company, the live music, coffee, pop, and water, and a warm place to hang out. I enjoyed a meal and several meaningful conversations.

One guy with a great sense of humor told me his life story but warned me that he probably won’t remember our conversation if we see each other again due to a brain injury. A former long haul truck driver, he suffered a brain hemorrhage 13 years ago while at his truck stop on Mottman Road. His license was taken away and he has not worked since.

“After a while, I told my wife I was bored. She said I wasn’t allowed to say I was bored. So I go to the doctor and he tells me I’m depressed! Well, let me tell you, I’m bored with being depressed!” he laughed. He is very proud of his 27 year old daughter who is a dancer.

Saying goodbye, having made a few new friends, Rodney O’Neill greeted people coming and going at the door. I got a big hug. Pointing Gracie out to him, I told him how wonderful she is.

“That’s what inspires me so much, is seeing the same faces every year,” he said with a smile.

Serving celery sounds simple, but it was harder than it looks, and behind that is a lot of hard work. O’Neill and a solid team of volunteers, many of them teenagers, including a young man named Ian, had been there preparing and cooking food since 8:00 a.m.

About 4:15 p.m., Rich Smith, kitchen manager, gave O’Neill a quick update on the food situation. One more uncooked turkey remained. It was decided to not cook it. Over 1500 meals had been served today.

“That’s 25 dozen deviled eggs, 140 pounds of mashed potatoes – all hand peeled and hand mashed – 200 pounds of stuffing, and 30 smoked turkeys. Safeway donates all the desserts and breads,” Smith laughed, and headed back into the kitchen.

Hidden In Plain Sight: Elizabeth Smart Speaks About Hope, Survival

Above: Elizabeth Smart

by Janine Unsoeld
www.janineslittlehollywood.blogspot.com

For Elizabeth Smart, the worst happened, but she is a survivor and now provides hope for other families whose lives are forever changed by the loss of a missing child.

Smart spoke Thursday afternoon at St. Martin's University to local Rotary groups and other community members. She was joined by Olympia resident Rani Hong, a United Nations spokesperson against human trafficking, and Thomas Nnour, 20, a student at Olympia High School who escaped war in his native Sudan.

The event was sponsored by the Rotary Clubs of Thurston County and many other local service and community organizations, state agencies, and businesses.

"None of us are perfect or have perfect lives...Many of us say, 'Please, let this day be over.' Every single one of us, we all have our trials in life...No one else can understand exactly how you feel...but no matter how bad life gets, it will get equally as good....The worst time in my life was a story you all know about...." she began.

Smart lead her listeners into the very difficult subject of her kidnapping from the safety of her home in 2002 at age 14. She endured rape and torture for nine months, until she was discovered walking on a street with her captors in Salt Lake City. Her discovery was based on a tip called into 911, and her captors were confronted and arrested by police officers.

"I'll never forget the morning I was kidnapped and taken up into the mountains...I was brought into a tent, and the man followed me inside, and zipped up the tent. I was crying....I screamed out...." The man said he would kill her if she screamed again. She did not scream again. "I knew I wasn't ready to die yet...." Describing what he did and her feelings, she wondered if her parents would want her back.

"I was a 14 year old girl...I didn't watch the news much, but while I was on the floor of the tent I thought of those stories, saying that 'they found her body' and thought, they are the lucky ones, because they don't have to feel like their souls have been crushed...I fell asleep to those thoughts. I was chained up...I felt like my life wasn't worth living anymore. I was sentenced to a life less than an animal....I was a junior high school student about to graduate. I thought about how much I had changed in a day, I thought of family, my mom in particular...I didn't want to forget my mom's voice...."

Smart smiled as she remembered her disgruntlement upon hearing her mother's voice as a child telling her to go practice (harp), and do the dishes. Sometimes her mother gave her a choice - do the dishes or go practice, but her mother also said, "'once you're done with the dishes, you'll still have to practice.'" Of particular irritation to Smart was the sound of her mother singing at the top of her voice, "Oh What A Beautiful Morning!" to wake up her and her siblings at 6:30 a.m. or 7:00 a.m. each morning to get ready for school.

But as Smart lay on the floor of the tent, raped and alone, she thought of her mother, and said, at that time, "I would have given anything to hear her at that moment...."

Her mother also always told her that 'nobody's opinions mattered except for God's and mine.' Her mother always told her that 'He loves you and will never turn your back on you', and 'I will always love you, you will always be my daughter.'"

"Those words stayed with me and I decided I would survive, no matter what. I knew one day I would walk home....That decision was a big turning point for me. The things I was forced to do, no one could make me do now...."

Smart said the first happiest day of her life was when she was married early last year, and the second is when she was reunited with her family. A 911 caller had called to say that she thought she saw Elizabeth Smart on the street with her captors.

Smart had been coached by her captors with a story if there were ever any questions by anyone, and was told that if she didn't stick with the script, she and her family would be killed. Smart stuck to the script even as police questioned her that day. Finally, one police officer decided to separate her from her captors and asked her point-blank, "Are you Elizabeth Smart?"

In her mind, she said 95% of her wanted to say, 'Yes! Save me!' but the other five percent wondered, 'what if they don't believe me?' She said the majority won out, and she admitted that she Elizabeth Smart.

Smart was reunited with her family. "When I saw my mom, if I ever wanted to know what heaven was like, it was seeing her..." Smart said the best advice her mother then gave her was that 'the best punishment you can give that man is to be happy'...so, I knew he would never steal another second from me again."

"We all have trials and rough spots, we can all come up here and tell our stories and we would all be amazed...I am grateful for what happened because of the opportunities and doors it has opened to me and what I'm able to do now - I wouldn't be able to speak for so many who can't speak out - right now there are so many children who are waiting for their miracle...for their chance to come back...people like you made a phone call. If you ever see anything suspicious, make the phone call. You never know whose life you'll be saving - best case scenario, there's nothing wrong. You could make a difference....Never hesitate...That phone call is what brought me home...." Smart concluded.

Rani Hong

Olympia resident Rani Hong spoke about her story of being kidnapped at age seven from her village in southern India. Near death by age eight, she became worthless to her kidnappers, and was illegally sold for international adoption and went to Canada. Eventually, she was brought to Olympia. She attended Garfield Elementary, Roosevelt, Reeves Middle School, and Olympia High School.

"I'm here to prove that, with love, we can heal," said Hong. Hong founded the Tronie Foundation and is a United Nations spokesperson against human trafficking. Another struggle at age 17 tested her emotional strength: her adoptive mother died of cancer when when she was a sophomore at Olympia High School. "I was alone and vulnerable again...at 17 years old I wanted to run away, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to tell anyone of my circumstances. I was going to drop out...."

Hong said she chose to live for tomorrow and because Rotary gave her a scholarship for her education to South Puget Sound Community College, she felt her community cared about her. Addressing the membership of several South Sound Rotary groups, she said, "It saved my life...never forget that...."

At age 28, in 1999, she was reunited with her birth mother, who had slept with her picture under her pillow every night. "I found her in a tourist hotel in India...my mom cried and cried....don't ever lose hope...."

Thomas Nnour

Hong introduced Thomas Nnour, a 20 year old Olympia High School senior, who addressed the group. Hong said it was his first time speaking publicly about his story as a Sudanese escaping war and his journey to Olympia.

His story, too, was a story of hope and survival.

"I left my homeland, war happened, so when the war starting, shooting, bombing, I see people dying, running around, airplanes bombing. We ran, ran, kept running. We walked nighttime and daytime. During our travel, many people, old people and kids (dying) on the way because they tired, there's no food or water...our enemy keep coming, fighting us. I was going to Ethiopia. On my way, we walk daytime and nighttime. From there, there were sick people who give up. We end up in Ethiopia. From there, we settled down. The Sudanese army coming and collecting little kids, kids. I didn't want to fight. The army came looking for kids. We escaped. I saw them but I ran away from them because I didn't want them to take me....From there, in refugee camp I live there as a minor so I have no mom. The UN (United Nations) - but we in a group - give me food and blanket at nighttime. Three years after what happened...they ask me, they find a better place. They would help me learn and find education. They did - they will take me to U.S. They want me to do interview and medical exam. Finally, they brought me to Washington State, put me in apartment. I learned to read and write and pay the bills every month. A lady comes and helps me. This is what I have...." Nnour continued his story saying he would like to go to college in the future. "It costs a lot...you have to pay for things, books, everything costs money when you go to college."

Matthew Grant, principal of Olympia High School, was clearly proud of Nnour, listening to Nnour and taking pictures of him greeting Smart and other well-wishers. About Nnour, Grant said, "He's one of the most loved students I've ever met at Oly, and he's one of the hardest working on so many levels...He's friendly, he's in tutoring...his work ethic is outstanding. He's a shining star at our school."

Above: Thomas Nnour and Rani Hong

The Kyron Horman and Lindsay Baum Families Wait For Their Miracles

A resource and information fair involving over 40 local organizations and agencies was held throughout the afternoon. Speakers from various groups gave brief presentations about their work.

Grays Harbor Police Chief Rick Scott is involved with the investigation of  Lindsey Baum, last seen June 26, 2009 in McCleary, Washington. He said that almost from the beginning, with his 30 years of law enforcement experience, "this didn't feel like a missing child." His agency quickly mobilized 30 FBI agents and over 100 officers within two days of her disappearance just blocks from home.

"You can never activate enough resources too soon when a child is missing....The case is active. We have investigated 4000 different tips and have continued to maintain a task force with the FBI, the Washington State Patrol, and other law enforcement. We continue to believe in our hearts that we'll bring Lindsay home."

Later, in an interview with Lindsey Baum's mother, Melissa, she said she was overwhelmed by Smart's talk. "The part where she said she wondered if her mother could ever love her again (after being raped), and how worthless she felt, got to me. I don't often cry in public, but that got to me....We're all so worried about minding our own business - I'm guilty of that too - but kids need to know that they will always be loved, no matter what...."

The Grays Harbor police department is currently thinking about issuing an age progression picture of Baum. It's been four years and her appearance has likely changed. Kyron Horman, age seven, disappeared from Skyline Elementary in Portland, Oregon on June 4th, 2010. Oregon authorities have already issued age progression pictures of him, with and without his glasses.

Human Trafficking and the Statistics

Human trafficking is the use of force, fraud, or coercion to compel a person to work. Human trafficking is modern day slavery. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 80% involves sexual exploitation, and 19% involves labor exploitation.

Human trafficking has been reported in all 50 states. Eighty percent of trafficking victims are female. Human trafficking is the third most profitable criminal activity, following drugs and arms dealing.

The U.S. Department for Health and Human Services estimate there are 300,000 teenagers who become involved in prostitution across the United States. According to the U.S. Department of State, 50% of trafficking victims internationally are under age 18.

In Washington State, around 80% of trafficked victims are forced into the labor maket. The 2010 Trafficking In Persons Report released by the U.S. Department of State reports that trafficking occurs primarily for labor in construction, manufacturing, health care and elder care, janitorial service, hotel services, domestic servitude, and agriculture. Due to its proximity to the border and waterways, the Seattle area is ranked in the top six places in the world to sexually exploit young boys and girls.

Anyone having information regarding Lindsey Baum's whereabouts are asked to contact 1-866-915-8299 or go to www.FindLindseyBaum.com. Anyone having information regarding Kyron Horman's whereabouts are asked to contact (503) 261-2847 or go to www.BringKyronHome.org.

Established in 2006, the Tronie Foundation creates safe havens for women and children victimized by international slave organizations. For more information about the Tronie Foundation, go to www.TronieFoundation.org.

The Zonta Club of Olympia works to advance the status of women by improving their legal, political, economic, educational, health and professional status. For more information, go to www.zontaolympia.org.

Above: Rotary Interact student club members helped organize the event to bring Elizabeth Smart to the South Sound. Students from Rainier High School, Olympia High School, and Timberline High School pose with Rani Hong, second from right, first row, and Elizabeth Smart, back row, first from right.